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Johnny Cage VS Captain Falcon
Johnny Cage VS Captain Falcon is the 111th episode of DEATH BATTLE!, featuring Johnny Cage from the Mortal Kombat series and Captain Falcon from the F-Zero series in a battle between celebrity brawlers. Johnny Cage was voiced by Kieran Flitton and Captain Falcon was voiced by Kestin Howard. Description In the battle of celebrities, all that matters is they bring the hype! And these two are masters of it! Interlude (*Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates*) Wiz: Whether it be to save the world or to benefit themselves, every warrior has a different reason for fighting. Boomstick: But when they're also a kickass celebrity, all that matters is they bring the hype. Wiz: Johnny Cage, the stuntman turned legendary hero of Mortal Kombat. Boomstick: And Captain Falcon, the racer turned bounty hunter on the track of F-Zero. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle. Johnny Cage Wiz: Mortal Kombat is a deadly tournament dictated by the Elder Gods to decide the fate of entire worlds. Its contestants only include the best of the best, whether you're a four-armed beast intent on conquest, a ninja assassin seeking vengeance... Boomstick: Or a washed-up Hollywood movie star looking for your next big break. Wiz: Johnny Cage was a global phenomenon, known for his over the top and dumb as hell action flicks. Boomstick: You're dumb as hell! His movies are awesome! We got Ninja Mime, Citizen Cage, Brokenose Mountain, and my personal favorite, Tommy Scissorfists. Oh... it's the only movie that ever really made me cry. Wiz: But, as with most celebrities, Cage's fame eventually cracked. Audiences lost interest in his stunts, and critics claimed he was a fraud. Boomstick: Which is bullshit! So, to prove himself, Johnny naturally decided the best idea would be to join the deadliest martial arts tournament ever. What better way to stick it to 'em and show 'em you're the real deal than to save the earth from an alien takeover? Wiz: I guess. Cage didn't really know what he was getting into. Luckily, he's no ordinary stuntman. Johnny Cage: Fans think my moves are all wirework and special effects. I AM the special effects. Boomstick: This guy's trained all across the world. He's mastered four different martial arts, including Bruce Lee's real-life Jeet Kune Do. He's got nunchucks, brass knuckles, and his wicked cool bowie knife. Wiz: So, when it came time to save the world, Cage could certainly hold his own against the greatest martial artists in the universe. Boomstick: Good thing, too. The lightning god Raiden really needed some help, ’cause the Outworld warlord Shao Kahn was just one tourney win away from taking over Earth. Okay, seriously, why does everyone always target Earth? I live here! It's not that great! Wiz: Against the forces of evil, Cage discovered he was more adept at this sort of thing than even he expected. He possesses a mystical power passed down through generations, originally stemming from a Mediterranean War cult, which bred and trained combatants to fight among the gods. Boomstick: Uh, sure... That's not random at all. Wiz: This power manifests not just as a shield against divine forces, but also as a mythical energy Cage can weaponize. Boostmick: He can fire Shadow Bolt energy balls, punch you to pieces with a Shadow Uppercut, do a Guile impression with the Eclipse Kick, and knock the shit outta you with his patented Shadow Kick. Wiz: But even with these powers, Cage is still a mortal man. Whenever he found himself in trouble, he needed a go-to technique to get out of it. Boomstick: Oh-ho, and he came up with the absolute perfect move. It's the Nutcracker, the Berry Buster, the Infertilizer, the Beanbag Barrage, the "Not that kind of blow" Blow, and my personal favorite, the "Help, Doctor! I think they're in my ribcage!" Special! (Cut to Wiz and Boomstick.) Wiz: That's... horrifically disturbing. Boomstick: It's inspiring, that's what! He's strong enough to rip your whole body apart and send your johnson flying off to another country. Fatality! (Boomstick punches Wiz's crotch, we hear a hard clank and Boomstick holds his hand in pain) Boomstick: AH, GOD! What the hell?! Wiz: This isn't my first rodeo. Despite Cage’s crude and downright juvenile behavior, he proved worthy enough to be a champion of Earthrealm. Boomstick: The dude's strong enough to chop through a human head, a chunk of titanium, and even diamond! Wiz: Applying the density of diamond, crushing some of this size would require nearly fifty million joules of energy. Boomstick: That's like gettin‘ hit by twenty-six monster trucks at the same time. Wiz: Cage is quick enough to dodge point-blank automatic gunfire, and tough enough to power through Sub-Zero's ice blast, which stops or even kills most people instantly. Boomstick: He's breaking those chumps apart like they're made of glass. Johnny even beat the shins off Shinnok, who's a freakin' god! Wiz: Thanks to his ancestral powers, which seem specifically tailored for this exact purpose, which is pretty remarkable. Boomstick: Shinnok's full power is a bit tricky to lock down, but he's pretty similar to Raiden, who fired a blast that obliterated this huge temple along with his enemies. So it's definitely a desperate max power move. Popup: Despite Shinnok being an Elder God, his fallen status restricts his power to a level similar to Raiden, who has destroyed Shinnok's body. Wiz: As Buddhist temples typically avoided the use of stone in construction, we took the typical composition of wood and concrete into account while measuring the structure to determine this blast must equal nearly 270 tons of TNT. More than enough to level an entire city block. Boomstick: Damn! Who cares if Johnny's a pain in the ass, when he can compete with power like that? Popup: It's worth noting Johnny has been killed by non-deities, such as Motaro, so his war cult powers don't strictly make him a god-level being. Wiz: Well, he wouldn't be a pain forever. Cage eventually found happiness with a family, including a daughter just as skilled as he is. He even earned new success in his film career with a series based on his adventures. Boomstick: But he never got tired of defending Earthrealm from the forces of ugly. God bless that beautiful man... Goro chuckles as he crushes Cage’s sunglasses in his hand. Johnny Cage: Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole. In retaliation, he nut punches the Shokan warrior, making him groan in pain. Captain Falcon Boomstick: It's the year 2560, and the world's gone crazy! Aliens are everywhere, we're travelin’ through space, and best of all, there's a brand new sport in town: An intense mix of high-speed racing with anti-gravity techno whatsits. This is F-Zero! So much better than Nascar! Wiz: You seem pretty chipper. Boomstick: Well, yeah! F-Zero's freakin’ awesome! Why don't we have this in real life yet? Wiz: Probably because it's extraordinarily dangerous. On the F-Zero Grand Prix, one wrong turn can end your life. Boomstick: Yeah, what's your problem? The ones that survive are the best of the best, including the champ himself, Captain Falcon! Wiz: To most of the world, Falcon is a legendary racer and household name, but that's about it. Otherwise, he's a mystery. Boomstick: Like Batman! Wiz: Sort of. Off the track, Captain Falcon is actually an accomplished bounty hunter, dedicated to a mission of saving the universe from the vile forces of Black Shadow. Boomstick: Is that like a heavy metal band or somethin’? Wiz: No. Boomstick: Well, then dibs. Wiz: Black Shadow is a cold-blooded king of crime, determined to bend the universe to his will. Boomstick: He's also got horrible taste in style. How often you think that thing gets caught on door frames? Wiz: Truly the most evil of evils. Boomstick: To take on Black Shadow, Falcon's a goddamn badass. He's super tough and super skilled in martial arts. Best of all, he's got a bunch of fiery super moves. The speedy Falcon Kick, the unpredictable Raptor Boost, and Falcon Dive, where he humps people so hard they explode. Wiz: What? Boomstick: Just calling it like I see it, Wiz. Wiz: Either way, as impressive as these techniques are, they pale in comparison to his greatest and most famous,,. Captain Falcon: Falcon... Puuuunch!!! (He uses this move on Samus, sending her flying) Show me your moves! Boomstick: He literally punches people so hard, they explode in bird-shaped fire! Which is awesome, but HOW?! Wiz: Well, as evident from his other techniques, he’s not moving so fast he’s igniting the air or anything like that. Rather, Falcon seems to possess some limited form of pyrokinesis. And while the reason for this has never been specifically explained, the answer may lie within his sleek F-Zero machine, the Blue Falcon. Boomstick: Aw, yeah! This baby uses magnetic and G-Diffuser tech to rocket over 1,500 kilometers per hour. That's more than 35 times faster than the Bugatti Chiron Sport, the fastest car in the world. Wiz: But when he wants to push the Blue Falcon even further, he taps into its hidden Reactor Might. Boomstick: Now, you might be asking, "What's a Reactor Might?" Oh, y'know, nothin' much. Just a ''magic piece of the Big Bang that birthed all of existence!'' Wiz: You'd think there are better uses for a fragment of creation than powering a race car. Boomstick: No I don't, Wiz, have you seen what this thing can do?! With the power of the Reactor Might, the Blue Falcon can go Beyblade with a move called Boost Fire! Check it out. Captain Falcon: Boost Fire! Boomstick: The Blue Falcon becomes a deadly energy buzzsaw spinning so fast that it increases speed and can even fly. Wiz: A Reactor Might is bonded with its owner, and can even call upon from a great distance away. Therefore, Falcon can summon his vehicle to his side at any moment. Boomstick: Reactor Mights bottle up a ton of raw power. Put a few together and you can rip holes through dimensions. This one by itself went haywire and blew up this space station in one blast. Wiz: Based on the space station's size and the ensuing blast radius, this explosion must've held a yield of over six megatons of TNT. Often times, Reactor Mights also grant their owners a variety of superhuman powers, some even bordering on unexplainable magics. While it's technically unconfirmed, perhaps the Reactor Might under the Blue Falcon's hood is the source of the Captain's curious pyrotechnics. Popup: Its possible the explosion would have been even greater if Black Shadow had not forced the Reactor Might to close. Black Shadow later used his Reactor Might powers to detonate a massive mountain. Boomstick: Who cares? He can punch a giant bird fire falcon of burning death, and that's all that matters. Like when he finally beat Black Shadow once and for all. ...Did he just explode the galaxy?! Hell, yeah! Wiz: Well, don't get the wrong idea. This blast of light actually originates from the exploding Dark Matter Reactor, which has the power to rewind the Big Bang using all six Reactor Mights... It's a long story. Popup: It took the power of multiple Reactor Mights to overload and destroy the Dark Matter Reactor. No single Reactor Might appears to be capable of this sort of power. Boomstick: Aw, that's way less epic. Still, even beating up Black Shadow is super impressive. This guy could tank hits from a hulked out super alien no problem. Wiz: Falcon's quick enough to take out multiple enemy robots in the blink of an eye, a feat which would require moving faster than sound. He can spot a sniper from several miles away and even survive an exploding rocket. His exact clone took multiple blows from specialized military personnel with no effect whatsoever. Boomstick: And as a bonus, Falcon carries dynamite poweful enough to blow up this giant weather machine. That's, like, a hundred sticks of dynamite in one. Where do I get me some of that? And, whoa, wait a minute, that guy survived?! (Cut to Wiz and Boomstick) Wiz: While Captain Falcon did accomplish his mission and rid of the universe of Black Shadow's tyranny, it took more than one man to do it. Boomstick: Oh great, here comes the "power of teamwork" bullshit. Wiz: No, no, no, I mean Falcon is literally more than one man. Boomstick: Go on... Wiz: The name "Captain Falcon" is actually a title passed through generations. To date, at least three people have claimed the moniker: Douglas Jay, Andy Summers and Ryu Suzaku. Each new inheritor is chosen by the current Falcon, who seeks a worthy hero who can surpass him in skill and ability. So, technically, the latest to take the title, Ryu, should be capable of anything the others could do and more. Boomstick: New life goal unlocked! (He places a Captain Falcon helmet on his head) Wiz, I'm puttin' in my two weeks notice. Wiz: While the man behind the mask may fall, Captain Falcon will always ride on, defending the galaxy one raceway at a time. Captain Falcon: FALCON PUNCH! He says this as he punches Black Shadow from above. Death Battle (*Cues: Falcon Uncaged - Brandon Yates featuring RichaadEB) On one of the planet Big Blue's industrial buildings, the F-Zero Grand Prix is underway. From a safe viewing platform, a cameraman observes the racers in their vehicles speeding across the circuit. The camera then zooms out to get a view of the cameraman's host, Hollywood action star Johnny Cage. Cage: You recording? Yeah? OK. We're at the F-Zero Grand Prix, snagging some clips for my latest flick! That guy there? Johnny points to Captain Falcon, with the latter glancing at the former. Cage: That's who I'll be playing! Yeah, you're looking at the next Captain Falcon! It's gonna be a pretty sweet gig for --'' The captain immediately interrupts. ''Falcon: Hey! Did you say YOU'RE the next Falcon? Cage: Uhh, yeah? Falcon: Only one who can surpass Falcon can become Falcon! Show me your moves! The F-Zero champion wastes no time in landing blow upon rapid blow on Cage before knocking him back out of camera view and onto another platform. But Johnny is no way deterred. Cage: You wanna go? Let's dance! Swiftly, he tears off his tuxedo, bearing nothing but his shorts. A "Bring it" hand gesture encourages the Captain to charge in with a shoulder ram. Johnny quickly dodges it and kicks the racer forward with a kick before using his mystical powers to dash forward to uppercut his opponent and slam him on the ground. Falcon quickly gets up and combos Cage before launching his foe ahead of him with his foot. Falcon: Falcon Kick! As Johnny recovers from the attack, the Captain slides through him with his burning foot before turning around and launching him with the Raptor Boost. Falcon then uses the Falcon Kick in the air once again before hitting Cage a few more times and grabbing him with the Falcon Dive. Falcon: Yes! The explosion from the attack sends the actor on the ground dizzy. Falcon tries to take advantage by unleashing his ultimate technique. Falcon: Falcon Punch! Just as his hand ignites and goes forward, Johnny quickly does the splits and punches the racer in his testicles. Falcon grabs his crotch and steps back in pain. Captain Falcon: Wooahh... You... Ugh... Uhd...Who'd...Oagh... Ugh! Cage stands up smiling and points his thumb down. Cage: You know what they say, "All's fair in show business!" Falcon: Nobody says that! Johnny charges forward and rapidly punches the Captain dive kicking him out of the area. Both stumble over and fall onto the race track. Cage: Whoopsie! They land on the White Cat, where Falcon bull kicks Cage and sends him onto the Blood Hawk. Johnny fires his Plasmic Bolt, which takes out the vehicle as the Captain narrowly avoids it. Falcon dodges the next two projectiles that take out the Black Bull and Golden Fox before landing on the Blood Hawk to kick his opponent. The two then continuously punch and narrowly miss each other. Cage: You sports types really take auditions seriously! Both counter each others rapid punches blow for blow before Cage punches Falcon in the gut and sends him off with the Shadow Uppercut. The Captain slides backwards before leaping forward with his iconic Knee of Justice. Cage: So cool! Johnny is launched backwards after getting a faceful of knee before he is sent forward by a boost pad. He skids on the track before he lands on a dash zone that speeds him forward. While suffering from intense rug burn at first, he stands up and jumps on the boost pads to gain continuous momentum. He avoids a Raptor Boost before throwing the Captain into another dash zone and delivers a high speed beatdown. He uppercuts Falcon hard enough to crack his opponent's skull before tapping into his green mystical powers to punch the racer forward and deliver a devastating Shadow Kick. Falcon eventually recovers from the assault and starts coughing up blood as a glowing Cage slowly walks forward. Cage: Am I good enough for you now? Falcon: Come on! The Captain then summons his F-Zero racing machine, the Blue Falcon. He drives his vehicle straight into Johnny, who starts continuously punching the windshield. Falcon: Boost Fire! Falcon starts rapidly spinning his vehicle to overpower Johnny, who screams in pain before he is launched into the air. As his damaged body slowly spirals downwards, the Captain leaps out of his machine before delivering his ultimate finishing move. Falcon: Falcon Punch! The resulting explosion from the attack sends shock waves through the racetrack. Falcon lands safely on the road right next to Johnny's dismembered arm. He then proudly takes off his scarf and lets it fly in the wind. Falcon: Only one can be worthy! KO! Results (We cut to Wiz and Boomstick, the latter still wearing Captain Falcon's helmet) Boomstick: YES! F*** YES! Ah, that was awesome! Wiz: Okay, uh, just chill for a minute. Johnny Cage certainly held his own against Falcon, with superior martial arts ability and matching Mach speeds. Boomstick: But Captain Falcon wasn't a pushover, and had plenty of experience with tricky opponents. Most of all, he had WAY more power on his side. Wiz: Let's compare some of Johnny's best feats to Falcon's. Specifically, crushing diamond and the Falcon Punch. Boomstick: Yeah, when he hit that tough son of a b*tch Black Shadow. Wiz: By measuring the area of effect and comparing that space to the heights of Captain Falcon and Black Shadow, we found that the electricity covered an area of about three hundred cubic meters. Accounting for empty space, the amount of electricity needed to fill this area must equal at least 151 billion joules of energy. Boomstick: That's the same as dropping twelve elephants on old horn head here, and over three thousand times stronger than Johnny's diamond smash. Popup: While unrestricted Elder Gods like Cetrion have shown powers implying planetary level capabilities, this does not directly scale to Johnny or even restricted and fallen gods like Raiden and Shinnok. Wiz: Captain Falcon was tougher too. He survived a blast from a rocket launcher, but even more notably, he faired better against Black Shadow than Zoda did. Boomstick: You know, that hulked out alien guy who survived the exploding weather machine when he wasn't all hulky? Wiz: So we can reasonably scale Falcon to Zoda, at least as far as those sorts of physical feats are concerned. Boomstick: Look at that explosion! Based on its size, it's worth around one hundred tons of TNT. Wiz: And while Cage's war cult powers let him survive battling Shinnok, whose power rivals Raiden's 270 tons of TNT blast, recall that this ancestral defense seems specifically tailored to counter such divine forces. A bullet could still put Cage down; it has, and he's even died to lesser foes in alternate timelines. Popup: Note that Raiden's 270 tons of TNT calculation was high-balled for the benefit of the doubt. Black Shadow used his Reactor Might to destroy a mountain, a feat equivalent to over 100,000,000 tons of TNT. Boomstick: And anyway, Raiden's final explosion attack is nothing compared to the raw power of the Reactor Might under the Blue Falcon's hood. Wiz: Numbers aside, this was a pretty even match. But Falcon's greater strength, toughness, and fiery arsenal tipped the scales. Boomstick: In the end, Johnny just couldn't finish the race. Wiz: The winner is Captain Falcon. Original Track The track for the fight is "Falcon Uncaged" by Brandon Yates featuring RichaadEB. It is a fast-paced techno rock track meant to emulate the futuristic high-speed music of the F-Zero video games. The track's title is a combination of the names of both combatants (Captain Falcon and Johnny Cage). The cover image is a burning falcon right behind a clapperboard. The burning falcon is in the shape of Captain Falcon's symbol while also alluding to the Falcon Punch, while the clapperboard is a reference to Cage's acting career. On the clapperboard, it says "Scene 07 Take 11". The 07 likely refers to the number on Falcon's F-Zero machine, the Blue Falcon, while the 11 likely refers to the latest Mortal Kombat game at the time of the video's release, which was Mortal Kombat 11. Trivia *The connections between Johnny Cage and Captain Falcon are that they both have an iconic punch (the Nut Punch and Falcon Punch, respectively), are both celebrities in some form (Johnny Cage is an actor and Captain Falcon is a racer), and are iconic fighters from a fighting game (Mortal Kombat and Super Smash Bros. respectively). Furthermore, both have access to powers from ancient sources that enhance their abilities; Cage's war cult powers and Captain Falcon's Reactor Might. *This is the first Warner Bros. VS Nintendo themed Death Battle. *This is the seventh Fighting Game VS Non-Fighting Game themed episode, after Haggar VS Zangief, Yoshi VS Riptor, Thor VS Raiden, Pikachu VS Blanka, Guts VS Nightmare and Hercule Satan VS Dan Hibiki, and with the next one being Black Canary VS Sindel. *This is the third episode that was originally a Community Death Battle, after Black Panther VS Batman and Ultron VS Sigma, and with the next three being Dragonzord VS Mechagodzilla, Deadpool VS Mask and All Might VS Might Guy. *After this episode was released on YouTube, it became the #1 trending video on YouTube for short a time, making it the first Death Battle episode to be on the Trending page, with the next two being Ganondorf VS Dracula, which ended up being #2 on the Trending page before taking the #1 spot a few hours later, and All Might VS Might Guy. *In the sneak peek of this episode shown in DEATH BATTLE Cast #133, there is a small error where, in the bottom left corner of the camera footage, the clock moves backwards, shifting from 12:14 PM to 12:13 PM. This clock is obscured by a white bar in the episode's official release. Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:East meets West battles Category:Death battles Category:Season 6 episodes Category:Heroes themed Death Battles Category:Protagonists themed Death Battles Category:"1990s themed" Death Battles Category:Fights with voice actors Category:Animated Sprite battles Category:Fights animated by Jetz Category:Fights animated by Zack